Miss Susie Had a Steamboat (Hello Operator) - Lyrics

Warning: this rhyme is for the oldest kids! They love it... :)

Miss Susie had a steamboat,
The steamboat had a bell.
Miss Susie went to heaven,
The steamboat went to @#&!

Hello operator,
Please give me number nine.
And if you disconnect me
I’ll chop of your @#&!

Behind the frigerator
There was a piece of glass.
Miss Mary sat upon it.
It went right up her @#&!

Ask me no more questions,
Please tell me no more lies.
The boys are in the bathroom,
Zipping down their @#&!

Flies are in the city,
The bees are in the park.
Boys and girls are kissing
In the D-A-R-K

D-A-R-K D-A-R-K dark dark dark

Dark is like a movie,
A movie’s like a show.
A show is like a TV screen,
And that is all I know

I know I know my mother,
I know I know my pa.
I know I know my sister
With the forty acre bra.

Brother’s like a sister,
A sister’s like an aunt.
An aunt is like a relative
Who likes to rave and rant.

I wish I had a nickel
I wish I had a dime
I wish I had a boyfriend
Who kissed me all the time!

My Ma gave me a nickel
My Pa gave me a dime.
My Sister gave me a boyfriend,
Who'd kiss me all the time

My Ma took back the nickel,
My Pa took back the dime.
My Sister took back her boyfriend,
and gave me Frankenstein!

He made me wash the dishes,
He made me wash the floors,
He made me wash his underwear,
So I kicked him out the door

I kicked him over London,
I kicked him over France.
I kicked him to Hawaii,
where he learned to Hula dance!

My mothers like Godzilla,
My fathers like King Kong.
My sister is the stupid one
That taught me this dumb song.

Hello operator,
Please give me number ten.
And if you disconnect me,
I’ll sing this song again!